Julien Blanc
What about just not being stifled, to begin with.
That is smart work. "Here is my ceiling. Here is self-sabotage and then identifying 'what part of me likes this?' Identify the enemy inside, the part of you that's fucking up.
Inspired to work by default. Pulled towards success.
Why do you like fucking yourself over? Why don't you want a partner that's above this? Your comfort zone. Let that compliment land.
Self-concept out of our awareness. We will do whatever we can to
If the success you consciously want is outside of what that identity deserves, you're going to push it away and find all these ways to push it away. And consciously you'll never see it, you're like, 'Why do I keep doing that?'
Unconsciously, there's a part of you that believes you need to be punished. So you've got to identify, what is keeping that self-sabotage alive? What likes keeping you beneath that fucking ceiling? Tune into it, release it, and then there is no fucking ceiling. And you don't need the fuckin' work ethic. 'Cause now it's in that bracket of what you deserve. Okay?
You can either be stifled and fight against being stifled or remove being stifled. Work ethic and discipline make sense in a certain paradigm. What about shifting paradigms completely?
That is how you start having your own best interests at heart. And once more, it all comes down to questioning the assumption. Why do I self-sabotage to being with? Why do I assume I'm not good enough, to begin with? What's keeping that alive? Let go of it.
There's so much at play. There's your self-concept, there are your core beliefs, there's guilt, there's trauma, there's so much shit that's like holding us back. And we never address it.
Surface level shit. Hey, do you guys know the law of attraction? Think positively, right? And positive things will happen. Why don't they? You ever wondered, 'Why don't they?' Let me make myself think positive, come on. Why?
Let's examine number one, the assumption. Why do you need to make yourself think positive? What's the default? That by default you're not thinking positive. You shouldn't make yourself think positive. you should naturally be thinking positive. And then going deeper, we fail to address our thoughts that we're not aware of. Okay?
We all have, you'll see me talk about this in detail Saturday, but we all have like two worlds inside. The world you're aware of, the world you're not aware of. What are you aware of now? Me.
You're like, 'Oh yeah, Julien.' What are you not aware of? I mentioned it before. Like if you bring some awareness to if there's a tenseness in your body. You previously weren't aware of that, but that was going on beneath the surface.
Your first thought should be "hot damn" instead of "your mother should have aborted you."
That's constantly going on in the background. Address it. No wonder it's not working.
Becoming aware of this dark shit. You can let go of it.
And you keep focusing so that all of your problems eventually disappear and you're left with the now, right? But the assumption is that without doing that, by default you're not in the now. So it doesn't really get to the cause.
It's a fun escape. It is, it's a good little break. You're like, focus on the now, whooo. But then you're back into shit. It's a fun internal vacation, you can say.
Now, it is a great first approach. The same as discipline by the way. Or work ethic. And that's again, don't misinterpret me saying, 'This is horrible advice.' It has its place, but it won't get you to the end goal. Different tools for different paradigms. You know what advice also has its place?
You're a victim.
That is amazing advice, it does have its place. If you're someone who's caught in massive self-hate, and someone tells you it's not your fault, you're a victim? That is amazing. You feel massive relief. Hang on to it too long, it destroys you.
So you usually go from a victim, it's other people's fault. Until you move up and someone tells you, 'Stop being a bitch and take responsibility. Step it up.' You're like, 'Yeah.' And that gets you the next one. But then again you hear if you hang on to that too much, it eats you up inside too.
And then you hear, 'Hey, instead of being motivated by self-hate and misery and fear, what about love?' And then you move up. Different advice, different paradigms.
Be willing to drop tools and shift to paradigms where you no longer need those tools. You can use a million different tools or just shift paradigms. Smart work, not stupid hard work. And this is the approach I recommend taking for everything.
Right now it's like I can't speak up, I'm not very expressive. Here are a million techniques to speak up and be more expressive. Great first step. You know what's even better?
What's blocking me from being expressive right now?
Huh, what's keeping that alive?
Removing the blockage.
What's blocking me from taking massive action?
What's blocking me from success?
Remove the blockage.
Identify the blockage, it's not comfortable. A lot of it's outside of your awareness, that's why it's a lot harder to do. But then it's fuckin' permanent.
You know what's the biggest load of shit? Approach anxiety. Approach anxiety isn't real, you know that, right? Everyone's like, "Yes, no." Approach anxiety is you being triggered. It's past trauma.
The fact that you're trying to battle approach anxiety without diving deep and doing this work is absolutely insane. Progressive desensitization is a good first step. How bullshitty is that?
If you're doing this, you're stupid. Change it. That's hard work, it's stupid work. It's the dumbest shit I've seen. This is why so much of this traditional self-help advice, but even traditional dating advice, is dog shit.
That's why I'm doing this by the way. 'Cause this gets to the cause. Approach anxiety. (scoffs)
And then people are like, 'Give me a tip for approach anxiety.' As if a tip's gonna fix your approach anxiety. I'll give you a tip, it's not gonna change shit. I'll see you in a year with the same approach anxiety.
You ever realize how funny it is how very few people get rid of approach anxiety? To the point where even people give up. They're like, 'You know what? You just gotta live with it.' Fuck that.
Even progressive desensitization, it doesn't work. What does it do? Okay, you put yourself in let's just say in some intense situations, right? Will you be sensitized to it? Yes, you will. You'll actually start feeling more comfortable. However, you know what else will happen? What happens as soon as you stop doing those challenges? (indistinct audience responses)
Prrrrrr, you're all the way back. So what's the solution? You're gonna keep doing that the rest of your life? Going out and doing fuckin' social anxiety challenges? (chuckles)
It's a temporary band-aid. It doesn't do shit.
It only does a certain amount as long as you keep doing it. So you gotta ask yourself, where the fuck does this come from? Being, like approach anxiety. Trauma, that's you being triggered, literally.
The best example is like, say you're shamed in school for likin' a girl or for likin' a guy. We all laugh at that, we're like, 'Well, whatever man. Man up. Toughen up. You little snowflake.' No, it depends on the person's perspective. A kid's perspective for being shamed for that is traumatic. It feels like life or death. And you might remember this.
Like kids might have found out that you liked someone in the class. And everyone singin' like, you know, 'Julien and Sally sitting in a tree.' And you're like, 'Ahhhh.' Right?
Even like I remember, myself, like I remember my parents teaching me, 'Oh, we heard you like this girl.' And I'm like, 'No, I don't. I don't like this girl.' It's so funny how we're ashamed of it. It's like, 'I don't, I'm gay, I'm gay.' You know?
But it's crazy. So that happens and then we literally say like, 'Fuck, I think I'm gonna die here. Let's never ever embody this aspect again. Never let anyone know that I like a girl.' And then you live your life this way. And the resistance around it compounds. Here you are in your adult life.
Go say hi to her.
Is it comfortable to go say hi to a stranger?
Not necessarily, it could be a little uncomfortable. Is it life or death scary?
No.
Why is it that I'm like, 'Hey, go say hi.' Hangin' on to the wall freakin' the fuck out as if you're about to jump like off a cliff. That is a disproportionate response to reality. It's when something takes over. You're being triggered.
Identify what is being triggered and re-own it and now you're no longer triggered. And then guess what? You shift from this paradigm of 'I have social anxiety. I need techniques to fight social anxiety.' to, 'I don't have social anxiety.' Move to a higher paradigm.
That's the biggest message. Shift paradigms. Social anxiety challenges are amazing if used properly.
Used to desensitize yourself? No.
But used to trigger something in you, you cna then tune into, trace back to its source and re-own, beautiful.
That is smart work. "Here is my ceiling. Here is self-sabotage and then identifying 'what part of me likes this?' Identify the enemy inside, the part of you that's fucking up.
Inspired to work by default. Pulled towards success.
Why do you like fucking yourself over? Why don't you want a partner that's above this? Your comfort zone. Let that compliment land.
Self-concept out of our awareness. We will do whatever we can to
If the success you consciously want is outside of what that identity deserves, you're going to push it away and find all these ways to push it away. And consciously you'll never see it, you're like, 'Why do I keep doing that?'
Unconsciously, there's a part of you that believes you need to be punished. So you've got to identify, what is keeping that self-sabotage alive? What likes keeping you beneath that fucking ceiling? Tune into it, release it, and then there is no fucking ceiling. And you don't need the fuckin' work ethic. 'Cause now it's in that bracket of what you deserve. Okay?
You can either be stifled and fight against being stifled or remove being stifled. Work ethic and discipline make sense in a certain paradigm. What about shifting paradigms completely?
That is how you start having your own best interests at heart. And once more, it all comes down to questioning the assumption. Why do I self-sabotage to being with? Why do I assume I'm not good enough, to begin with? What's keeping that alive? Let go of it.
There's so much at play. There's your self-concept, there are your core beliefs, there's guilt, there's trauma, there's so much shit that's like holding us back. And we never address it.
Surface level shit. Hey, do you guys know the law of attraction? Think positively, right? And positive things will happen. Why don't they? You ever wondered, 'Why don't they?' Let me make myself think positive, come on. Why?
Let's examine number one, the assumption. Why do you need to make yourself think positive? What's the default? That by default you're not thinking positive. You shouldn't make yourself think positive. you should naturally be thinking positive. And then going deeper, we fail to address our thoughts that we're not aware of. Okay?
We all have, you'll see me talk about this in detail Saturday, but we all have like two worlds inside. The world you're aware of, the world you're not aware of. What are you aware of now? Me.
You're like, 'Oh yeah, Julien.' What are you not aware of? I mentioned it before. Like if you bring some awareness to if there's a tenseness in your body. You previously weren't aware of that, but that was going on beneath the surface.
Your first thought should be "hot damn" instead of "your mother should have aborted you."
That's constantly going on in the background. Address it. No wonder it's not working.
Becoming aware of this dark shit. You can let go of it.
And you keep focusing so that all of your problems eventually disappear and you're left with the now, right? But the assumption is that without doing that, by default you're not in the now. So it doesn't really get to the cause.
It's a fun escape. It is, it's a good little break. You're like, focus on the now, whooo. But then you're back into shit. It's a fun internal vacation, you can say.
Now, it is a great first approach. The same as discipline by the way. Or work ethic. And that's again, don't misinterpret me saying, 'This is horrible advice.' It has its place, but it won't get you to the end goal. Different tools for different paradigms. You know what advice also has its place?
You're a victim.
That is amazing advice, it does have its place. If you're someone who's caught in massive self-hate, and someone tells you it's not your fault, you're a victim? That is amazing. You feel massive relief. Hang on to it too long, it destroys you.
So you usually go from a victim, it's other people's fault. Until you move up and someone tells you, 'Stop being a bitch and take responsibility. Step it up.' You're like, 'Yeah.' And that gets you the next one. But then again you hear if you hang on to that too much, it eats you up inside too.
And then you hear, 'Hey, instead of being motivated by self-hate and misery and fear, what about love?' And then you move up. Different advice, different paradigms.
Be willing to drop tools and shift to paradigms where you no longer need those tools. You can use a million different tools or just shift paradigms. Smart work, not stupid hard work. And this is the approach I recommend taking for everything.
Right now it's like I can't speak up, I'm not very expressive. Here are a million techniques to speak up and be more expressive. Great first step. You know what's even better?
What's blocking me from being expressive right now?
Huh, what's keeping that alive?
Removing the blockage.
What's blocking me from taking massive action?
What's blocking me from success?
Remove the blockage.
Identify the blockage, it's not comfortable. A lot of it's outside of your awareness, that's why it's a lot harder to do. But then it's fuckin' permanent.
You know what's the biggest load of shit? Approach anxiety. Approach anxiety isn't real, you know that, right? Everyone's like, "Yes, no." Approach anxiety is you being triggered. It's past trauma.
The fact that you're trying to battle approach anxiety without diving deep and doing this work is absolutely insane. Progressive desensitization is a good first step. How bullshitty is that?
If you're doing this, you're stupid. Change it. That's hard work, it's stupid work. It's the dumbest shit I've seen. This is why so much of this traditional self-help advice, but even traditional dating advice, is dog shit.
That's why I'm doing this by the way. 'Cause this gets to the cause. Approach anxiety. (scoffs)
And then people are like, 'Give me a tip for approach anxiety.' As if a tip's gonna fix your approach anxiety. I'll give you a tip, it's not gonna change shit. I'll see you in a year with the same approach anxiety.
You ever realize how funny it is how very few people get rid of approach anxiety? To the point where even people give up. They're like, 'You know what? You just gotta live with it.' Fuck that.
Even progressive desensitization, it doesn't work. What does it do? Okay, you put yourself in let's just say in some intense situations, right? Will you be sensitized to it? Yes, you will. You'll actually start feeling more comfortable. However, you know what else will happen? What happens as soon as you stop doing those challenges? (indistinct audience responses)
Prrrrrr, you're all the way back. So what's the solution? You're gonna keep doing that the rest of your life? Going out and doing fuckin' social anxiety challenges? (chuckles)
It's a temporary band-aid. It doesn't do shit.
It only does a certain amount as long as you keep doing it. So you gotta ask yourself, where the fuck does this come from? Being, like approach anxiety. Trauma, that's you being triggered, literally.
The best example is like, say you're shamed in school for likin' a girl or for likin' a guy. We all laugh at that, we're like, 'Well, whatever man. Man up. Toughen up. You little snowflake.' No, it depends on the person's perspective. A kid's perspective for being shamed for that is traumatic. It feels like life or death. And you might remember this.
Like kids might have found out that you liked someone in the class. And everyone singin' like, you know, 'Julien and Sally sitting in a tree.' And you're like, 'Ahhhh.' Right?
Even like I remember, myself, like I remember my parents teaching me, 'Oh, we heard you like this girl.' And I'm like, 'No, I don't. I don't like this girl.' It's so funny how we're ashamed of it. It's like, 'I don't, I'm gay, I'm gay.' You know?
But it's crazy. So that happens and then we literally say like, 'Fuck, I think I'm gonna die here. Let's never ever embody this aspect again. Never let anyone know that I like a girl.' And then you live your life this way. And the resistance around it compounds. Here you are in your adult life.
Go say hi to her.
Is it comfortable to go say hi to a stranger?
Not necessarily, it could be a little uncomfortable. Is it life or death scary?
No.
Why is it that I'm like, 'Hey, go say hi.' Hangin' on to the wall freakin' the fuck out as if you're about to jump like off a cliff. That is a disproportionate response to reality. It's when something takes over. You're being triggered.
Identify what is being triggered and re-own it and now you're no longer triggered. And then guess what? You shift from this paradigm of 'I have social anxiety. I need techniques to fight social anxiety.' to, 'I don't have social anxiety.' Move to a higher paradigm.
That's the biggest message. Shift paradigms. Social anxiety challenges are amazing if used properly.
Used to desensitize yourself? No.
But used to trigger something in you, you cna then tune into, trace back to its source and re-own, beautiful.
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