How to Handle Anger

Everyone gets angry sometimes. They lose something, or someone does something just plain rude to get on their nerves. Sometimes, you can get so angry that you express your anger on someone else, and it gets them angry. The truth is, it can be hard to handle your anger well, or the right way. It really can be. But with the right tips and experience, you can not only reduce your anger, but learn how to handle it as well as help others do so.

Steps

Step back and relax. When you get involved in a dilemma, a typical reaction is to get very mad and scream at them. But your best course of action could be to step back and reflect on what’s going on. Don’t rush to respond in a way that could escalate tensions or provoke an offensive response. Let others present have their say and try to understand all the perspectives before taking your turn to offer an opinion. Try to view the facts objectively by seeing the “big picture” when you sidestep the immediate feelings of anger that may be sabotaging your communication.

Take deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose and exhale through your mouth. This is most effective when sitting in a comfortable up-right position or lying down on a comfortable bed/couch.

Try meditating. This will help you to clear your mind of anger as well as stress and other undesirable emotions.

Express emotions on something harmless. Try hitting a punching bag, or, if there isn't one available, your pillow. Pretend for a few minutes that it's the person you're mad at. Keep the pillow by you, so that when you feel yourself begin to explode, beat it up.

You may also benefit from making a voodoo doll. This is a safe way to get rid of your anger without hurting anyone.

Understand your anger. This is one of the most important steps of handling anger. Ask yourself these questions:

• Why are you angry?
• Who may have caused your anger?

Figure out how to fix the problem. Will talking to the person who made you angry help? Do you have to do something? Make a list of things that will help you solve the problem.

Talk to others. It's healthy to talk about your anger to other people. Ask them for advice if you want, or just vent to them. Be patient with them, even if they don't understand. Be respectful, and if you don't like their advice, at least give it some thought or tell them you will think about what they told you.

Talk to the person who made you angry. Tell them why you are angry, and (politely) tell them what they can do to help. Be careful here, though—the focus on the conversation should be on you and your feelings, not what the other person should or shouldn't do. Explain why you are angry, and if you don't agree on something, just let them be and realize that you are better then them anyway and don't listen to them.

Reflect on the conversation. Understand the motives of the person who made you angry, and realize that it may have just been a misunderstanding.

Accept the fact that it may not be solved. You may still be angry, but sometimes that's okay. Anger is not good to have, but you will never be completely happy.

Smile. That’s right—smile. Try to hold it for five seconds. It helps you feel so much better about yourself. Smiling is one of the best handling-anger tips because you can do it anytime, almost anywhere, and to pretty much anyone.The next time you get angry, try a friendly smile of understanding, appreciation, or patience as you listen to the other side of the story. Give a real smile—not a sarcastic or pretend grin. You will be surprised how easy it is to stop being mad and get into a better mood.

Tips

• Take a break. There are times when stepping back may not be enough. Stress may be igniting several people’s emotions to create a confusing situation. This would be the perfect opportunity to suggest that the group, or people involved, take a break.
• Breathe deeply and get something to drink. Take a few moments and just calm down.
• Put it off your mind for a while. Watch some TV, read a book, and focus on it to take your mind off it.