The True Creation Story: Genesis by David Park

[I apologize in advance that the "Tab" key refused to work.]

1 Before Man was created, there was a long and weary process of the Universe's creation. 2 On the first day was movement in the form of a quark, which can be explained in minuscule detail by quantum mechanics. 3 This quark multiplied into an atom in one yoctosecond [equal to a septillianth of a second which is a decimal point followed by 23 zeroes, then a 1] through its far smaller than microscopic movement. 4 The thing was called Hydrogen, a chemical element with an atomic weight of 1.00794 ± 0.00001 u [unified atomic mass unit].
5 At this point, energy quarks went to work, constantly engaging in nuclear reactions [of fusion and fission] to create or to deconstruct matter at any random whim. 6 Other elements came to be through this process of cycling. 7 The first physically tangible thing, which was not void [or nothingness], was the sun - a spectacular star that causes both life to flourish and death or blindness. 8 Not our sun, but a master sun which exists in a different universe [similar to how a cell divides and reproduces]. 9 The natural forces of push and pull repeated itself for millenniums upon millenniums; they still do so today.
10 And so, the Universe was construed. 11 To this day, The Universe remains under modification by the tiny yet powerful quarks. 12 Therefore, you can experience life as it is in today's world on Earth with its vast seas, magnificent skies, and praise the almighty creators. 13 Quarks never exist alone, just like the many mutual marriages currently coexisting in several human societies.

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